J.G. Burdette Scares Spammers Silly

My regular readers know what a hard time I had with spam when I first started.  No, not the typical barrage of spam you get from other people – I was spam!  I couldn’t crawl out of the Akismet hole I must have inadvertently dug for myself.  Well, one of the best serious history writers in Blogland, J. G. Burdette, took a swipe at spammers swarming her site today.

You should check it out if you don’t read her regularly.  Then become a regular reader.

For those spammers who can’t spell, she included this poem in her comment box.  Maybe that’s how I became a spammer in the first place – poor spelling.  I had to look up raspberry the other day.  I couldn’t even spell it right when WP told me it was wrong.  After two tries, I gave up and googled it.

Did I just admit that I can’t spell??  Yikes, I’m getting much too comfortable with all of you.  Are my clothes all still on? (Pat, pat, pat)  Yep.  I haven’t come that clean!  Whew!

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

I love to write about spam,.  My husband hesitantly told me yesterday that my MAJOR fault is a short fuse.  When my fuse blows with Spammers, I write.  You can tell by the number of posts, that my fuse has sputtered into flame several times!  🙂   There were a few others that came up when I did a search of my website, but I think Spam was just a passing word.

Is There Like Beyond Spam?
The Hilarity of Real Spam
Spam and Stats
The Un-Spam Button
SpamInternet Purgatory Solutions

So if you haven’t checked out her site already, CLICK HERE.  (…and write your best spammy comment in her comment box.  BE NICE – REMEMBER SHE’S MY FRIEND!!!  See if she can tell a real spam from a fake one!  Psssst, don’t tell her I sent you!)  Shhhhh 🙂  Oops, she reads my blog.

spammer

Do you think she’ll notice?  🙂

Click LIKE if you hate SPAM!  hahaha

The Hilarity of Real Spam

Both Sex Gratis and Tattoo Age need to work a little on their persuasive writing skills. as well as their language usage.  Maybe that is why the Common Core standards are pushing teachers to teach persuasive/argument writing grades K-12.  These folks are so pathetic they are fodder for the funnies.

“I think this is a powerfull site with much interesting blogposts about this stuff. And i just wanna say thnx for this. I’ll subscribe to your website to see if you post more stuff like these!”

I guess this person assumes is that I would WANT him/her to subscribe to MY website!!!  On what grounds would I want him or her to be part of my world?  Certainly their gravitar name and photo doesn’t do much to sell them.  Then there is the ignorance of simple rules of grammar.  I am not the best grammar teacher, but starting from the beginning powerful is misspelled.  I didn’t catch it, but by WP did on the routine proofreading checker.  I misspell words on purpose sometimes to make a point or make up a word, but this is not the case here.  Next “much interesting” should be many interesting.  I love the old red pen, don’t you?  Next, could he/she be use a more specific word than “stuff” What “stuff” is he/she reading on my blogpost that is so powerful and interesting?  I didn’t see anything too sexy or tattooish about my vase stories.  Rules of capitalization and spelling in a formal email such as this one should be followed if he/she wants to be believable to a stranger like me.  Finally, Is “stuff” singular or plural?  He/she is referring to one post, but using a referent “these” to refer to the plural “stuff” that was found in the post?  It is confusing if not incorrect.  

“Hi there you have a good weblog over here! Thanks for posting this interesting information for us! If you keep up the good work I’ll visit your website again. Thanks!”

You know, I like praise as much as the next person, but is this a threat?  If – then statements are great for science, but for enticing someone to do good work?  Not to helpful unless you are the parent.  IF you get your homework done, THEN you can visit your friends.  Kids love this – and RUSH to get their homework done!  My husband might TRY an IF – THEN statement like that, and substitute homework for housework.  On the other hand, IF he did try that, THEN I probably would have the dirtiest house in the world – and I don’t (BTW).  On an aside I think people who dislike each other and live together have lazy contests – who can do the least around the home? Maybe they used too many IF – THEN statements in their conversations with each other.

“everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. it contains truly information. your website is very useful. thanks for sharing. looking forward to more!”

Who writes this stuff? OK Spam Geeks, EVERY sentence starts with a capital letter, unless you are a published writer with a huge following, and even then…  So lets assume that this is computer generated, and the programmer doesn’t understand the First grade rule of capitalization.  I get computer generated messages from WP, LinkedIN, Facebook.  THEY know how to generate a simple sentence that is correct and motivational.  I actually do endorse people when the generator asks me to – if I know them and like them.  So take a lesson from the experts and put a capital at the beginning of every sentence.

“hey, great job friend, cheers.”

I can live with these spams.  OK, there’s no capital, but it’s simple and sort of “Good morning” kind of innocuous statement.  I know, as a teacher, that “great job” is no longer acceptable.  I used to say that so much that my students would imitate me – voice included!  My spam friend, be specific in your praise.  What is great about my work?  Nonetheless, a simple, “great job friend, cheers”, well it’s happy and positive – no threats.  I can live with this one.  However, with enough of real people out there reading with faces instead of computer generated pattern gravitar, I’ll still delete this one permanently.  No sale.

What is you favorite spam, or do you look at them?  One of them might be me, so please look.  Have you found me there?  Are you still finding me in the Spam with sex gratis and tattoo age?  Are you finding more interesting Spam than I have?  Please share!

P.S.  My website was immediately shut down when I published this article this morning.    I had copied and pasted a gravitar of one of the spammers because it was so nonsensical.  Just a warning.  DON’T DO THAT!!!

PSS.  Thank you WordPress for reading my plea and restoring my blog.

The Un-Spam Button

 

I am researching why my comments appearing in some of your spam folders.  I went on wordpress.org and got a user name and password to begin my search.  As I was reading another user’s words of woe, I read that Akismet also has a support site.  It was more helpful.  This is part of what Akismet support said.

“A comment from a friend appeared in my spam folder. Why, and what should I do?

Use the un-spam button in WordPress to rescue it, or the equivalent button in your blog or forum application.

Akismet isn’t perfect, and occasional errors do happen. The un-spam button will teach Akismet not to make the same mistake again.

I heard that Akismet blocks IP addresses and websites. Is that true?

No, Akismet is not a web site or IP blacklist. Blacklisting isn’t very effective and causes false positives, so we don’t do it.

Instead, Akismet always uses all the available information about a comment together in order to determine if it’s real or spam. The IP address is an important piece of information, but it’s always used in conjunction with other information about each comment.

Additionally, Akismet learns the preferences of each individual blog owner, and tailors its results accordingly – each blog has different standards for what is and is not considered spam, so Akismet produces different results on each blog.

All of the comments on my blog are going to spam!

Are you using the ReCaptcha plugin for WordPress? If so, please disable it and see if that fixes the problem. It sometimes catches comments as spam even when Akismet says they’re not.

If that doesn’t fix the problem, please contact support and we’ll investigate.”

On my site I have found that Akismet has done a good job.  Once in a while I will find a comment that makes sense – even though I don’t know the blogger – I let them in.  Most of the time Akismet keeps out sites that are only selling things, are only about sex, or have really ridiculous grammar and syntax.

There were many more entries, but the gist of the matter is that if my comments are going to your spam folder, then you are going to have to invite me back in. – unspam me.  If I have said something offensive to you, I am deeply sorry. However, since the reporters of my spammy comments have been new blogging friends, I imagine that only your computer or your spam catching program is offended by my remarks or IP address. To those offended technologies I say, “Unspam yourself, and have a great day!”

🙂

 

Spam

I haven’t figured out why my comments go to people’s spam.  I try to write nice comments, but maybe I write too many words.  Maybe my grammar’s bad, and WP thinks I’m not a real human.  Possibly WP thinks I’m trying to sell something that is not appropriate.  For whatever reason I’m in the trash more often than not.  For that I apologize, and hope that you will take the time to fish me out.  I have found that I’m not getting as many comments, and I truly miss you leaving behind your thoughts.

I check my spam each day, and lo and behold – normal spam.  “Lovely site man, I am appreciating your words, and hope to make examples of it when you visit my site, you will see it.”  Nothing from you.  If anyone knows how to solve this problem, I’d love to know it.  I found that it even happens when I go directly to your site, sign in, and the posting comment sign comes on, and then poof, my post is gone.  Probably out spamming.

Today on October 2, I found this in an article about the Admin Bar.

The gist of this is that when you are on someone else’s blog, and you hover the mouse over their name, the above menu pops up.  In the gray section is another line that states, “report as spam”.  If you do that accidentally or on purpose, it reports that site as spam to WP.  I’m not sure how they follow-up with it.  I also am not sure what you can do to unreport that person as a non-spammer.

I followed two new sites tonight, and clicked “like”.  They followed me back.  I tried to leave comments on both of their sites, and it never appeared.  It didn’t leave a message, “Your comment is awaiting moderation, either.”  I wonder if it will show up?  I’ll keep an eye out for it.  I’m on a quest!

So that’s my latest update on Spamming.  Still learning, still experimenting.  🙂