Jessie, the Family Gossip

You have probably guessed that once I finished the NaNoWriMo my novel wasn’t finished.  After JT told me I needed about 5-6 more edits, I decided he was right, and I haven’t stopped since, except to go to Hawaii.

The result is that I don’t get much else done except CCSS business.  My blogging has gone south for the winter, and these were my best months last year.  Would it be ok with you if I post a few excerpts from Girls on Fire and you can give me some feedback?  It’s 61,000 words so far, so don’t worry, Meme, I won’t post them all.

I’ve been recording the chapters as I edit to help catch errors.  So far it has just caused me to write more, and probably make new errors.  I’m including a recording of this portion to see how you like it.  I have a friend in Indiana who actually does this kind of thing, and I’m no professional, as you will hear.  I have a lisp.   I hope this audio works I haven’t done this before.

Trixie
Could this be Trixie?

This is a brief phone conversation between Trixie, one of the three main characters, and her sister, Jessie, who is one year younger that she.  Trixie, aged 61, has never married, and met a man at a conference with whom she thinks she fell instantly in love.  He doesn’t call her much, but she hopes he will.

Excerpt Chapter Two

Excerpt from Chapter Two

The phone rang.  Where did I leave the stupid phone? The only nice thing about the stationary phones of her youth was that she could always find the big beige box that hung on the kitchen wall. Trixie ran to the back of the house towards her office, catching the phone on the last ring, but banged her toe on the chair as she lunged for the phone.  “Ow.  Oh hi Jess.  No I hadn’t heard.  She doesn’t feel like going?  Uhhuh. Yeah. That’s normal.   Her toenails hurt too much to go to work?  Mine hurts right now.  Oh yeah, I bumped it again.  Yeah.  OK. How’s that working out with..?  Uh Uhhuh. She did?  Seriously, she fell off the table?  I’m not even going to ask.  Good thing you keep up with the relatives, Jess.  I don’t have that much patience.  Uhhuh. You told who about Nick?  I don’t even know what’s going on about Nick?  Uhhuh. OK.  Sure.”  Jessie didn’t talk long, just long enough to get her unrelated news tidbits scattered throughout the family lines.

Jessie’s so concerned now that I might have a boyfriend.  Why did I even tell her?  Trixie knew from years of training not to tell privileged information, but Jessie was the official family correspondent.   She slurps in family information like a whale combs in krill. “Cousin Cammy has the flu.  Kurt, our neighbor Jessica’s son, has grown an inch a month for the past three months, and she has to buy all new pants for him. Trixie might have a boyfriend.”

“Oh well, Sammy I’m too old to care what people think.  Let’s see if Nick emailed me again.  Mr. Claws, get off the computer.  You know that’s where I want to go next, don’t you?  You love me too much.  Now let’s see if Nick thinks as much of me as much as you do.”

I have lots of new pictures of Manny, so hopefully I’ll have some of those to share as the week goes by.  Have a great week this week. Enjoy your holiday celebrations.  🙂

 

 

Author: Marsha

Hi, I'm Marsha Ingrao, and I'm working on retirement. heheh Read more about me here. http://wp.me/P7tP3I-2

10 thoughts on “Jessie, the Family Gossip”

  1. Hi Marsha,

    You might want to take a look at making your point of view consistent. When a writer changes back and forth between POV without intention and design, the reader tends to feel unsettled. And yes, all writing is rewriting.

    Cheers!

    Like

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