Today I read a post which was an entire chapter of mostly dialogue. I realized suddenly that I couldn’t follow it because there was not enough description to let me know where the characters were, and what they were talking about.
Here is a current, unedited clip from early into the first chapter of my new book, now
completed drafted up to Chapter 5. Trixie and Nick have JUST met in a hotel lobby. So which picture pictures best show where they are, and what they look like? These are stock photos from the internet. One of them somewhat captures the feeling I am seeking.
“Of course, sit down. I’m waiting for a friend, but I’d love the company.” He didn’t look like he worked out regularly, but he still had the careless jock look. Intimidated by extremely good-looking men, Trixie mused to herself, “I think he likes to eat as much as I do.”
“You must not be teaching today,” she guessed flashing him a teasing grin.
“No,” he smiled again. “I’m off after my requisite cup of coffee. I have a date with my daughters this afternoon for a couple of hours . I don’t get to see them very often. Then I’ll be back later to catch a few sessions before the end of the conference. My name’s Nick Boyd, by the way.” His tanned hand felt comfortable as she took it.
“Trixie Carlton,” she smiled. “You’re not a victim of the breakfast pastries here?” she pointed to her own half-eaten cranberry-orange scone.
“I do if it’s chocolate, but, yes, my eating habits are pretty boring. I’m trying to lose this gut. That means I eat chicken, chicken, and more chicken, protein shakes, vegetables, and more chicken.”
“I suppose you run marathons, for the blind, too?” Her thin, frosted strawberry-blond hair picked that moment to flip into her eye when someone entered the hotel lobby and a bit of Monterey gusted into the coffee shop tossing her hair in several directions before it finally settled into her eyes.
“If they were as pretty as you are right now, and I know you can’t see, I’d be running double marathons every week, but no, I have a bad knee.” He leaned toward her slightly as he sat down opposite her, “And what about you, what do you enjoy doing when you’re not attending conferences or with patients?”
What do you think? Too much dialogue? Is there enough description, or do you get a glimpse of who these two people are? Which picture is your choice for the couple?