Have you been arrested yet because your neighbor called the police on you? Then you don’t have the kind of neighbors I heard about last week.
I was in Chris Brewer’s Framing Shop in upscale downtown Exeter, and I had to wait in line to talk to him. While I waited, I heard the remains of some sordid neighbor tales, and I told the victim I would protect her name, but I had to share these stories. They were too fabulous to keep to myself.
The victim, approximately aged 65, is a moon-watcher. She keeps track of all its phases, researches the moon, and loves gazing at the moon. The problem on this particular night was that her trees blocked the beautiful orb. She moved to the center of the street, but the trees still obscured her view. Soon she had inched her way over to the neighbor’s house and stood near his truck sipping her water, gazing contentedly at the loving man in the moon. Within minutes of her arrival at the side of the truck, sirens blasted their way down the street towards her, and broke the spell of her night-dreaming.
The local police car screeched to a stop. The officers jumped from the car, guns pointed. They shouted her reported sins of trespassing, and being drunk in a public place as they cautiously approached her. Unperturbed, she showed them her water, asked if they wanted to give her a breath test, as she patiently explained the phases of the moon to them. With egg on their faces, they declined to arrest her, and left her as she reluctantly walked back to her forested yard losing immediate connection with her beloved moon.
On another occasion she and her husband baited the neighbor, who always seemed to know what went on privately inside the confines of their living room. Several times the neighbor had asked questions about subjects that he would have no way to know about, so they put him to the test. Her husband had just brought in the mail. A stack of white envelopes.
“Did we get the check for $200,000?” she asked in an excited loud voice.
In a matching raised tone, he answered, “Yes, the check came for that property we sold! How would you like to spend it?” Of course, we all know that there was no check, right?
They discussed the potential of spending the $200,000 for several minutes until the phone rang. It was the neighbor. “Have you opened your mail yet?” he queried innocently.
I wonder if he thought they were going to share their “fortune” with him.
What sordid neighborly tales have you heard recently? Maybe you are living next to the sordid neighbor him or herself. I hope not! If you are, and need a good realtor, I have the perfect Central California realtor for you.
Tell me your tales. 🙂