Jakesprinter has really challenged me with this contest. I struggled even to define dreams. I have achieved many personal dreams in life, meaning ambitions, and am working on others. I wanted to ignore the deeper meaning, the subconscious, the murky sludge in the pit of the mind that comes to haunt our sleep. I reread Jake’s introductory post, and decided I must include both definitions to meet the challenge he presented.
So I started to research my dreams, those illusive, frightening flashes of unedited video that our brains play against our wills. Most of the dreams I remember are so frightening that I wake up. Generally the setting is a cliff, and I am driving or at least inside of a car. Often There is a windy road, and even stairs or steps. The plots vary.
My mother drives her red Volkswagen around the horsehair turns up the mountain highway. We edge precariously toward the side of the road. Unlike this picture, my dreams had no railings to protect us from dropping off the edge of the world. The highway ends, and there is no sign. Our car needs to fly, but it can’t. I awaken, but I try to rewrite my dream so that we don’t die.
I found an online dream dictionary that explained the meaning of symbols in dreams.
“To dream that you are driving a car denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. If you are driving the car, then you are taking an active role in the way your life is going. However, if you are the passenger, then you are taking a passive role. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.”
“To dream that you or someone falls off a cliff suggests that you are going through a difficult time and are afraid of what is ahead for you. You fear that you may not be up for the challenge or that you cannot meet the expectations of others.”
Online Dream Dictionary at Dreammoods.com
When I was 15 my mother, brother and I moved away from family and friends in Indiana to begin a new chapter of our lives in Oregon. Mom had no job, no leads. We moved in July, and I began my junior year of high school a month later. Outwardly I thought it was a great adventure. I loved Oregon. I got out of doing my journalism assignment in Indiana. The weather was much nicer in Oregon. My critical dad still lived in Indiana. I was happy. My subconscious, must have thought differently. I took that dream off the “To Follow” list.
Laughter fills the brightly lit home at the top of the cliff. The party ends, and my friends and I get into the red car and try to drive, but the river (or ocean – it varies) rises, flooding the dark, windy street. We drive through rushing water until we can’t go farther, and the water still rises. I awaken terrified. I don’t want to follow this dream!
“To dream that you drive your car into a body of water or that it rolls into water implies that you are in for an emotional journey. To dream that you are in a flood represents your need to release some sexual desires. If the flood is raging, then it represents emotional issues and tensions. Your repressed emotions are overwhelming you.”
“To see a road in your dream refers to your sense of direction and how you are pursuing your goals. If the road is winding, curvy, or bumpy in your dream, then it suggests that you will encounter many obstacles and setbacks toward achieving your goals. You may be met with unexpected difficulties. If the road is dark, then it reflects the controversial or more frightening choices which you have made or are making.”
Online Dream Dictionary at Dreammoods.com
The dictionary accurately explained my often repeated nightmare during my 30s and 40s. Although I realized my personal goal to become a teacher during this time, and I had happy times, there were many difficulties. I worked, finished college, got a teaching credential, found employment, was laid off several times and reemployed, started a masters’ degree, did what I could as a pastor’s wife to support the emotional needs of our church family as well as help keep our personal financial heads above water. However, we found that my husband’s genetic condition left him with emphysema, and chronic heart failure. Within six years of starting his pastorate, at age 43 he retired, and passed away shortly before his 48th birthday. We had no children.
I’m in my red car. We drive up the cement steps into the house, which has no walls, but only a fireplace. I awaken confused.
“To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs indicate that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual, emotional or material journey. The dream is also analogous to material and thoughts that are coming to the surface.”
“To dream that a house has no walls represents a lack of privacy. You feel that everyone is looking over your shoulder or up in your business.”
“To see an abandoned house in your dream implies that you have left behind your past. You are ready to move forward toward the future.”
Online Dream Dictionary at Dreammoods.com
My most recent dream didn’t seem too positive to me when I dreamed it, but I wasn’t frightened. By this time I had remarried and become an instructional consultant – my top goal in life. We had bought and remodeled a modest home on an acre of beautiful foothill country. We lived comfortably, I loved my work, and we both worked hard at our chosen careers. Again, the dream moods folks seem to have nailed my emotional state at the time. Of the three paths, this one was the most pleasant – even though the house came without walls.
I don’t know why I have been so ambitious in life. It shocked all my immediate family, but seemed essential to me. If dreams equate to ambitions. I truly followed them. I reached the end of my dreams, and now I dream again.
As far as sleeping “dreams” relating to real life, I would characterize those dreams as the followers. My life was what it was with its ups and downs, obstacles and successes. I’m glad I didn’t dwell on the “dreams” and the barriers and setbacks they represented. It was difficult enough just to deal with the problems without getting mired in them. I chose not to follow my “dreams”, but to follow my ambitions instead.
As a pastor’s wife, a teacher, a consultant and coach, and now a blogger, I have heard many, many life stories. Not one of them has been without difficulty. People have handicaps, financial losses, deaths, accidents, poor health, and they struggle to journey along. Much like my dreams did, their dreams probably also reflect the hindrances that they encountered along the way. Let’s rebel against THOSE dreams. They lead us backwards. They reflect what was.
Let’s march together into unchartered territory where, to the best of our abilities, we love each other, and create a sustainable life together, and we face the obstacles with bravery and laughter. Let’s create a place – even in cyberspace – where we liberally support each other with hugs and affection, listening ears and encouraging words. And let’s travel the rest of the way as a community of friends.
My personal belief is that God created us, not perfect, but able. I KNOW that
we I need his help, and without God we I can do nothing. I choose not to judge others’ convictions, but I choose Jesus Christ as my Savior, and I realize how totally inadequate I am without him to cover for me.
This has been a difficult post to write, and my husband V will say in the morning when he reads it, “You should not write that much about yourself.” He’s probably right. I am WAY too open with people. Many of you have been very open with me as well. Even knowing that the world can read EVERYTHING we write, you have shared some deep stories in the content of your comments as well as your posts. What we write, for all we know, NEVER goes completely away. Yet, the need to be known and accepted by others is SO great that we share anyway.
I avoided writing to this post all week. Now I know why. It didn’t start out to be this deep, but here it is. I’ve been having a lot of fun these past weeks, teasing and joking. I love to try to make people laugh. Hopefully I haven’t wounded anyone along the way, as is the case with humor sometimes. Now you see the overly serious side to Marsha Lee. The truth’s out now – for you to accept, reject, ignore, criticize, love, share, or respond to in some way. I am yours. 🙂