The Hilarity of Real Spam

Both Sex Gratis and Tattoo Age need to work a little on their persuasive writing skills. as well as their language usage.  Maybe that is why the Common Core standards are pushing teachers to teach persuasive/argument writing grades K-12.  These folks are so pathetic they are fodder for the funnies.

“I think this is a powerfull site with much interesting blogposts about this stuff. And i just wanna say thnx for this. I’ll subscribe to your website to see if you post more stuff like these!”

I guess this person assumes is that I would WANT him/her to subscribe to MY website!!!  On what grounds would I want him or her to be part of my world?  Certainly their gravitar name and photo doesn’t do much to sell them.  Then there is the ignorance of simple rules of grammar.  I am not the best grammar teacher, but starting from the beginning powerful is misspelled.  I didn’t catch it, but by WP did on the routine proofreading checker.  I misspell words on purpose sometimes to make a point or make up a word, but this is not the case here.  Next “much interesting” should be many interesting.  I love the old red pen, don’t you?  Next, could he/she be use a more specific word than “stuff” What “stuff” is he/she reading on my blogpost that is so powerful and interesting?  I didn’t see anything too sexy or tattooish about my vase stories.  Rules of capitalization and spelling in a formal email such as this one should be followed if he/she wants to be believable to a stranger like me.  Finally, Is “stuff” singular or plural?  He/she is referring to one post, but using a referent “these” to refer to the plural “stuff” that was found in the post?  It is confusing if not incorrect.  

“Hi there you have a good weblog over here! Thanks for posting this interesting information for us! If you keep up the good work I’ll visit your website again. Thanks!”

You know, I like praise as much as the next person, but is this a threat?  If – then statements are great for science, but for enticing someone to do good work?  Not to helpful unless you are the parent.  IF you get your homework done, THEN you can visit your friends.  Kids love this – and RUSH to get their homework done!  My husband might TRY an IF – THEN statement like that, and substitute homework for housework.  On the other hand, IF he did try that, THEN I probably would have the dirtiest house in the world – and I don’t (BTW).  On an aside I think people who dislike each other and live together have lazy contests – who can do the least around the home? Maybe they used too many IF – THEN statements in their conversations with each other.

“everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. it contains truly information. your website is very useful. thanks for sharing. looking forward to more!”

Who writes this stuff? OK Spam Geeks, EVERY sentence starts with a capital letter, unless you are a published writer with a huge following, and even then…  So lets assume that this is computer generated, and the programmer doesn’t understand the First grade rule of capitalization.  I get computer generated messages from WP, LinkedIN, Facebook.  THEY know how to generate a simple sentence that is correct and motivational.  I actually do endorse people when the generator asks me to – if I know them and like them.  So take a lesson from the experts and put a capital at the beginning of every sentence.

“hey, great job friend, cheers.”

I can live with these spams.  OK, there’s no capital, but it’s simple and sort of “Good morning” kind of innocuous statement.  I know, as a teacher, that “great job” is no longer acceptable.  I used to say that so much that my students would imitate me – voice included!  My spam friend, be specific in your praise.  What is great about my work?  Nonetheless, a simple, “great job friend, cheers”, well it’s happy and positive – no threats.  I can live with this one.  However, with enough of real people out there reading with faces instead of computer generated pattern gravitar, I’ll still delete this one permanently.  No sale.

What is you favorite spam, or do you look at them?  One of them might be me, so please look.  Have you found me there?  Are you still finding me in the Spam with sex gratis and tattoo age?  Are you finding more interesting Spam than I have?  Please share!

P.S.  My website was immediately shut down when I published this article this morning.    I had copied and pasted a gravitar of one of the spammers because it was so nonsensical.  Just a warning.  DON’T DO THAT!!!

PSS.  Thank you WordPress for reading my plea and restoring my blog.

Author: Marsha

Hi, I'm Marsha Ingrao, author, blogger and retired teacher/consultant. Read more about me here. http://wp.me/P7tP3I-2

31 thoughts on “The Hilarity of Real Spam”

  1. I wondered what horrendous crime you’d committed, Marsha. 😆 I only check my spam to see if you’re lurking in there. I can’t imagine what spammers get out of posting these nonsensical comments. 🙂

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    1. That is a great question. It’s not a huge philosophical think. hardly worth more than a second, but I read that another blogger kept hers just for laughs. Since I’ve been having such a hard time, it was on my mind. Since that time, my comments seem to be easier to post. I think WP may have fixed that problem as well.

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    1. They are, but in my case, I became the spam, and it is hard to get off that list as well. This article got me in BIG trouble with WordPress. I had copied and pasted one of the gravitars into my article because the name was so nonsensical. As soon as I pressed PUBLISH, my site went down. They closed it for four hours until they had a chance to inspect it, and opened it up again. Since that time I have had less trouble being spam myself, so I’m thinking they might have fixed whatever was wrong. YEAH!!!

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  2. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Tru dat! The absurd spam comments are actually enjoyable and fun to read, until, of course, when it gets so annoying and redundant. They’re mostly loft-sided, off-set, out-of-place comments.

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    1. So true, but the big question everyone is asking is why dod people write them in the first place? What will they get out it doing it? Do they hack into our computer? Are they a virus? We know they would be annoying if they were planted all over our comment pages.

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  3. Hi Marsha, I’m late reading this, but wanted to share some spam I received recently. “You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it.” Haha – this was on my post about swarming bees (Fake Rain). I also received this: “Absorbing info and entertainingly written. Keep up the good stuff!” which I unspammed and replied to as it appeared to come from a legitimate blogger, though we don’t seem to have any common interests, and the conversation didn’t go any further. WordPress may have been right to categorize it as spam after all.
    I don’t understand the point of these messages either. Sometimes it seems they’re selling something or want you to visit their blog. I don’t usually go looking in case there is a virus or something waiting to get me! The WordPress spam filter has worked pretty well for me so far. Glad to hear your internet and WordPress problems finally got sorted out. 🙂

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    1. I have heard it’s mostly a numbers game probably for advertising purposes. Some of it is pretty funny! Just make sure not to copy the website or you might get shut down by WP like I did!!!! That was so weird!

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        1. Wow, and it’s really old!!! I am in the process of going through all the blogs I follow from the oldest to the newest and visiting them from the list that is available on the reader menu. It seems that the reader gets clogged with many of the same person’s posts, and then I don’t see the others. So I wanted to do it manually. I may discontinue my mail announcements because that gets overwhelming as well. I think I have over 200 now that I follow. I don’t know if this is new or not, but it didn’t always show me more than about 30 blogs, so this makes it really easy to manage the blogs I follow.

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  4. Marsha, I follow about 35 and have trouble keeping up so I’m not surprised you do! I usually click on the link in the email to read a post, rather than using reader. We have been busy here and I have a backlog of unread posts. 😦
    Maybe when WordPress shut your site down, no emails were sent out for this post, even when it was reinstated. I tend to read single posts as I get time, rather than scroll down through a blog, so found it through the link in your newer post.
    I’m looking forward to getting more funny spam now! I don’t get very much anyway, but had deleted all the others.
    Have a good weekend! 🙂

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      1. Well, guess what happened after I posted here that I don’t receive much spam – today there were 40 of them!! Most are very complimentary but don’t really relate to the post or photo they were responding to, such as ‘Rattling fantastic info can be found on this web site’, ‘I love your rich post. brilliant contribution. I hope you produce others. I will continue watching’, ‘A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you ought to publish more on this issue, it might not be a taboo subject but usually people do not talk about these issues. To the next! Cheers!!’ and ‘Good Morning, I just stopped by to visit your blog and thought I’d say thanks for having me’. However this one really got me: ‘Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it won’t disappoint me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, however I actually thought you would probably have something interesting to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of moaning about something that you can fix if you weren’t too busy seeking attention.’ !!! I’m surprised my husband didn’t hear me laughing from the other room! 😀

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  5. Well then let ,me babble like a brook. The web master “guru” that I turn to sometimes I (my blog is messed up right now. I think it did it) told me that spam is generally created by a robot. I suppose as in a computer robot or robot computer. What ever. As one commenter wrote way up there someplace- the spams are kind of fun to read. What really gets me is the frequency of the SEO thing that is always addressed to the web admin. are something like that.

    Anyhow to get all of my thoughts into one place, I saw you over at Sally Wood Photography and the comment of who loves who more. I sort of thought you are an animal person so I clicked on your name. I like your blog alot. There are lots of interesting things that you have posted. And of course I like the cat photos, as well as all of the other interesting pics that you have posted.

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    1. Why thank you. I am an animal person! I have a section about our animals – I’m totally enamored with our babies, but I like other animals as well. I’m so glad you came over. There are lots of us out her in Blogland that have and love animals. Then there is the Briney Lass who charms them. She is like the real life Dr. Doolittle. I can’t tell you how much fun I am having getting to know people on the web, so I am so happy to meet you. I’ll have to thank Sally for sharing her friends with me!! 🙂 Come again, and I’ll be over to see you soon as well. 🙂 Marsha Lee 🙂

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